An Unexpected Gift

Oh, how I love the Christmas season, a time of hope, joy and peace.  The candles and tree lights shed light in the dark and give warmth in the cold.

It was the last day that the church would be decorated for the Christmas season. I knelt in the pew when I returned from Holy Communion. In front of me was the creche with a beautiful Infant Jesus.

Silent Night.  Holy Night. All is calm. All is bright.

Calm. That's how I felt. Deep peace rested in my heart. The Christmas trees twinkled with small white lights.  Red berry clusters were tucked into the branches of the Christmas tree. It was a picture I wanted to remember.

I closed my eyes and thought about Mary and Joseph, the shepherds, and the Magi. They were all there at the stable to worship the newborn King.

When I opened my eyes, I was drawn to the crucified Christ. How quick and abrupt a scene from the one I just was pondering about seconds earlier!

New Life

to

Death on a Cross

to

New Life again.

I was filled with such an awesome feeling of being in the presence of Holiness.  Like the figures in the creche, I was worshipping the King of Kings. What a wonderful gift to receive.

I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk
By your side

I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face
Is before me
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in honour of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

I can only imagine
When that day comes
When I find myself
Standing in the Son

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever
Forever worship You
I can only imagine

I can only imagine

[Chorus]

I can only imagine [x2]

I can only imagine
When all I will do
Is forever, forever worship you

I can only imagine

St. Francis de Sales

For the past few years, I've been picking a saint that I'm drawn to and learning more about that saint. This year it is St. Francis de Sales. A priest recently quoted St. Francis de Sales and at that moment, I knew that 2010 would be the year that I devote myself to learn about him.

“Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections.”
-St. Francis de Sales

I think I'm going to like this year.

Living a Dream and Letting It Go

Growth.

It is happening all the time.

Even when I don't want to see it, it is happening.

My girls are growing right before my very eyes.

When I was a toddler and I hoped that what ever was in front of me would disappear, I'd close my eyes, tight, real tight.

Whatever "it" was, it never did go away.

I've been trying that technique now for several years.

It's not working.

I've closed my eyes real tight and thought that maybe, just maybe, my girls will just stay the same age. They didn't.

They grew and changed.

I am sad.

All of those years of hoping and dreaming of a family... It's here. I am living my dream

and

yet

I am sad.

My dream is passing by so quickly. I hold on so tightly. I don't want to let it go. It starts to slip from my finger tips.

No. Please. Not now.

I'm not ready.

It's gone.

My dreams are no longer my dreams.

They are God's dreams.

He has dreams for my daughters.

"No," He tells me. "They are not your daughters. They are my daughters."

He has dreams for His daughters?

He has dreams for His daughters. I repeat it over and over.

HE has dreams for HIS daughters!

I'm elated! I am filled with joy, excitement, anticipation!

I kneel before my King and slowly open my fists that held those dreams ever so tightly. I raise my open hands and I praise my King.

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Courage

Stillness.

God has called me to be still and know He is God. It is humbling.

He has pruned me to where I feel completely bare. I look and wonder. Will there be new growth? Ever?

I rest in my Lord's arms. Then slowly, cautiously, I get up. I look at myself and see that there is new growth. The tiniest hint of green on the brown stem. I am thrilled.

I am scared too. How do I keep this little hint of life from dying? Oh, Lord, please, tell me.

Silently, in the quiet of my heart, He tells me. I need the Son, His Son. I need Water, the Living Water. I need good soil. I need to be rooted in His Word.

I am still. Again. How do I do this? What if I make a mistake? What if I fail? What if...

Courage. That is what I need.

That is I will be seeking this year. Courage.


Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

-Deuteronomy 31:6